We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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