It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize