Someone shit on the floor
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
