we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
please come you make the beer taste better
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
