It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
