I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
