I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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