I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
