Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
