Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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