Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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