I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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