Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
