I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
