the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
