I hate your face
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
