Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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