if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
