i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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