K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why do cheetos always look like penises
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
