he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
