the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
