i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
