i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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