if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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