Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
