im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
