It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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