i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
