he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
