Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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