i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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