omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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