we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize