it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
