The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
