I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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