all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
