there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
