problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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