1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
