why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
