Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
