yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
