She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
