She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize