I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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