It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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