I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
