So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize