boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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