Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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