I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
