yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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