I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
