ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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