I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
