If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
