haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I have post one night stand depression
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize