So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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