I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
