but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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