You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize