he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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